4 + 1

I heard about ten minutes ago that my flight to Finland isn't the 15th of January, but it is the ninth of January, so like 6 days earlier. I'm flying to New York 9th of January and spending the night there and flying back to Finland 10th of January. I don't even know what should I say. I'm not prepared to leave. I know it's only 6 days earlier, but now everything is starting to feel more realistic that I am actually leaving in less than a month. I think this is the first time in my life, when I don't know what to say, I'm speechless. Yes I've had moments when all I wanted was to go home, but I've had more those moments when I didn't want to leave at all and exactly in a month I'll be sitting in an airplane heading back to Finland. I'm so confused.
ps. Happy 4-month anniversary in USA to me !!

Viela kymmenisen minuttia sitten luulin etta mun lento Suomeen on 15.1, mutta asken aiti huusi mua alakertaan ja kaski lukemaan sahkopostin, niin mulla onkin lento 9.1 NYCiin heti aamulla ja yovyn siella(?!) ja 10.1 mulla on jatkolento Suomeen.. En ees tiia mita mun pitais sanoa. En oo varautunut yhtaan. Joo, tiedan, eihan se oo kuin 6 paivaa aikasempaa, mut silti nyt kaikki alkaa tuntua niin lopulliselta. Liian lopulliselta. En ees tieda mita mun pitais sanoa tai miten mun pitais reagoida, oon varmaan ekaa kertaa elamassani sanaton.
Mulla on ollu vaiheita, jolloin oon halunnut kotiin ja sitten taas vaiheita etten millaan haluaisi lahtea ja nyt tiedan etta tasan kuukauden paasta istun lentokoneessa kohti Suomea. Oon hammentynyt.
ps. hyvaa 4kk paivaa jenkeissa minulle !!

With love, Essi